


The No's Nest

by cactwerk (ninnie_eats_chips)



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Alternate Universe - Normal Life, Comedy, Crack, Gen, Kinda, Noctis works at a fast food restaurant, the crow's nest, they have chicken instead of chocobo cause that'd be just plain weird
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-25
Updated: 2017-04-25
Packaged: 2020-07-29 04:56:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20076520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ninnie_eats_chips/pseuds/cactwerk
Summary: The Crow's Nest diner has plenty of modernized drive-thru locations across Insomnia, and Noct unfortunately works at the worst of them.(Basically, this Crow's Nest = a ghetto McDonald's.)





	The No's Nest

**Author's Note:**

> I dunno, it was just something I wrote for fun. xD

Ever since The Crow’s Nest restaurant decided to get modern and adopt a drive-thru window, Noctis had actually been looking forward to shifting positions. He didn’t like working the counter or burning himself on the deep fryer, and at least if he had to work with people, this way he could have a wall between them in case things got ugly.

Things _did_ get ugly sometimes at this particular restaurant, unfortunately. Located downtown in a not-so-nice part of the neighborhood, it wasn’t uncommon for the customers to get a little aggressive over simple things such as being told there were no more chicken nuggets. Noctis didn’t believe it when he was first on the job, but the first time he saw a burly woman threaten one of his coworkers, he almost quit on the spot. And they were almost always running out of nuggets. Why couldn’t they just order more nuggets?

The manager wasn’t too fond of Noctis’ lack of enthusiasm for his work, nor ducking and running when things turned heated in the dining room, and well… he couldn’t in good conscience fire the young prince without fear of repercussion. Thus, the rotation from kitchen to the drive-thru was very welcome for both parties. He just wished some certain friends hadn’t learned the location of his workplace, though he guessed they probably would’ve found out eventually anyhow.

Two hours into his shift and Noctis still hadn’t gotten a break yet. His ear was sore from the headset, his feet were tired, and he was hoping his boss would let him sit and trade places with burger girl for a bit. But another car had rolled up before he had the chance to ask. Noctis groaned, leaning over the register before adjusting his paper hat, then pressing a button on his device.

“Welcome to The Crow’s Nest, what can we make for you–?”

“Dude! How’s work??” A familiar voice blared into the prince’s ears, causing him to wince before scrambling for the volume dial. He’d just picked up this new headset after the previous one died and of course it just happened to belong to the deafest person on staff. He could even hear some sort of tinny rock music playing from the car in the background. Noctis heaved a sigh.

“Prompto, how many times have I told you? You can’t just come to the drive-thru to talk to me. You have to buy something.” He hated giving this lecture knowing it made him sound just like his boss, but he didn’t want to be getting in trouble again either.

“I know, I know! Don’t worry, I’ve got cash!” Noctis resigned, turning towards the register.

“Alright, well… What do you want?”

“Really? “What do you want?”” Prompto mocked in a grumpy tone through the speaker. “That doesn’t sound like service with a smile, buddy.”

_“Prompto–”_

“Alright, Alright!” The boy must’ve practically heard his friend’s fist balling through the headset. “Well, what do you recommend?” Noctis made a click in his mouth, agitated fingers drumming hard on the counter.

“Prompto, I hate everything on the menu. I’ve worked here for six months now.”

“Right, right… Okay, well can I get, uhh… A Big Kenny without the cheese? Upsets my stomach. And a small fry–make that medium! Oh, and uhh, strawberry shake. Actually, chocolate.” He paused, then squeaked out a high pitched, _“Nuggets?”_

“Nope, fresh out. You gotta be quicker than that.” The prince smirked, just in time to hear a whine from the other end as he finished hammering at the register with one hand. It was a good thing he’d gotten used to his best friend’s indecisiveness by now. “You want something else?”

“Nah, I shouldn’t…” Prompto hesitated.

“We’ve got chocolate pies now.”

“Ugh, fine. Sold.”

Noctis punched in the last few keys. “S’done.”

“Second window?”

“You know the drill.”

The blonde pulled up to Noctis’ window in his battered red car, then leaned out the window for his bag and shake. As soon as he grabbed hold of the paper bag, his satisfied grin was screwed up and he practically tossed it at the passenger seat before shaking his scalded hand about.

“Oh yeah, the fries are fresh so they’re hot.”

Prompto threw him a pout, slapping his drink down into the cup holder and caressing his palm.

“Couldn’t have told me sooner _before_ I burnt my hand, oh no. How do you still have this job, anyway?” The raven-haired boy shrugged, glancing back at his screen before poking fun.

“How do you still have that trash playing on your stereo? Pretty sure that one came out when we were twelve… You owe me fifteen-hundred gil, by the way.” Prompto rolled his eyes and flicked the volume up higher before digging in his cluttered car for his wallet. He picked out the remaining change from the free cupholder.

“Here you go, Your burger-flipping Highness.”

Noctis gave a “hmph,” grinning down at his sly, freckled friend. He almost dropped some of the money during the transfer but got a hold of it again before safely depositing it into the drawer.

“Hey, don’t look so glum. At least you’re getting paid, right?” Prompto readjusted his seatbelt, then showed off a pair of finger guns. “‘A mouthful of happiness!’”

Noctis bid him farewell before leaning out the window to get a breath of fresh air–the kind that didn’t smell like grease and salt. At least having someone to distract him from time to time wasn’t too bad.

Just then, the speaker clicked and staticked in his ear once again.

“AY, WHERE’S MY NUGGETS?!” A deep, indiscernible voice screeched from the other end, blowing out Noctis’ eardrums.

_“I’d like a mouthful of peroxide but that isn’t going to happen, isn’t it?”_


End file.
